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So it's late, and I was stuck spending my Friday night fixing client
sites that my dev screwed up earlier in the week. It can't ever just be
easy.
Having had time on my hands though, I was thinking of my much neglected site. And looking at pictures.
Starting to realize that I'm in denial. I still think of myself as the
responsible, mildly neurotic type, always looking at the safe play, the
risk, the way to stay out of harms way. Unfortunately though, all the
evidence is pointing against my self assessment.
Fact is, I get myself into every last bit of trouble I can find.
So sometimes it's spending all my rent, food, gas, and life money on
paragliding gear. Nevermind fear of heights, a lack of focus when
reading the meteorology book, or memorizing flight characteristics of
things intended to keep me alive. Just because I'm scared, I think I'm
sane. It's a fallacy consistent with most of my actions.
Nevermind the rest of the damning evidence of my life apparently fueled
by irresponsibility and stimulus seeking. Most of it can't even be put
on a semi public forum such as my little personal journal site here. I
still consider myself an amateur, not jetsetting around the world,
dating exotic women, sampling hallucinogenic drugs, and all other requisite
ingredients to fully developed mayhem.
But in the scheme of things, all those boxes are checked. I am that guy. It's just not fitting in my head that it's really been happening.
Case in point, I just bought an 80s limo spur of the moment, which I somehow
managed to rationalize also. More censorship is necessary on that
subject, as to be expected in most phrases that involve " my limo". And
girl situations are a continually evolving theme, as is my current
deliberation whether to fly more here, or drive to California in my
recently acquired RV and tempt fate there.
My newfound realization that I am actually out of my mind is rewarding me with a sense of pride.
The upcoming trek to Burning Man and beyond yet another reminder that I
life in a world of pretend-sanity, it's all about looking
forward to the next adventure.
Bring it on!
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